Self Development

self development|Building Self Esteem|Your Convidence

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

तें टिप्स तो इम्प्रोवे योय्र सेल्फ Esteem

Thursday, March 8, 2007

The Importance Of Self Confidence

What is Self Confidence?

To be able to achieve a goal you need skills, discipline, determination, capability and self confidence. Self confidence comes from having the right kind of skills and clarity of goals to be achieved. The clearer the goal, the better the focus of mind and self confidence. Nothing great was ever achieved by people who lacked confidence.

A capable body and mind will not function to their greatest potential if not backed by self confidence. Self confidence, hence, is the pivot on which all the creative and analytical abilities of the mind rest on. Low self confidence can impair the functioning of both the body and mind, resulting in failure. Self confidence is the measure of one’s collective ability to march right ahead to achieve a said goal.

The visibility factor

Self confidence has a way of being visible. You can tell by observing the very manner of a person walking, communicating, working, socializing, as to whether he is confident or not. The very first handshake with a person will tell her level of self confidence. A self-confident person truly stands apart. Drooping shoulders, falling jaws, undecided steps are not the characteristics of a confident person.

Confidence is infectious; the very presence of a self-confident person tends to charge up the air around him. Everything automatically falls in place for a confident person, and the world stands apart for the man who walks with sure, confident steps. A confident person commands respect as well.

Self Confidence – the basis of all achievement!

Great things are seldom achieved without necessary confidence. All the skills and efforts possible are useless if confidence is lacking. Low confidence halts your steps and you cannot take initiative. Low self confidence paralyzes both the body and mind at the time of making decision. It leaves you undecided and the undecided are swept away. There is no place for the undecided in this world where success is worshipped, and success seldom comes to someone who is undecided. As the old saying goes, you must stand for something or you will fall for anything – and it’s your confidence that holds you together or breaks you apart.

Confidence isn’t genetic nor it is hereditary. Nobody is born confident. Confidence is acquired. Confidence is learned. Confidence is improved. Confidence is practiced. And confidence can be generated. You need to first realize the importance of confidence before you can make any efforts to get better with it. It’s very much in your hands to develop a self-confident behavior.

Confidence brings out the fighter in you

It is said that one has to take risks to achieve something. There’s no gain without pain, as we’ve all heard. So what is it that enables one person to go ahead and take risks while another is held back? Yes, it’s the level of confidence that makes people come out and lead from the front without caring for failure. It’s this belief in oneself that differentiates achievement from failure. It’s sometimes the bald guy who takes the girl because he has something more than the handsome guys around – yes, you guessed it right, he oozes self confidence that makes the lady weak in her knees!

Confidence in themselves was behind scores of people who broke the shackles of a well- paying, “secure” job to pursue their dream of creating something, being something and ended up building great businesses. Surely what turned these seemingly ordinary men and women who were stuck in the nine-to-five ordeal into successful entrepreneurs was nothing but a belief in their dreams and immense self-confidence!

Be Confident

In today’s world of competition, confidence isn’t just an asset. It forms the very basis of your survival. Getting a good job means you need to be confident in the interview. Getting a raise, again, needs you to be confident at work. The confident ones are the ones who get attention. Attention brings acceptance and acceptance brings love, peace and energy that make you efficient. Efficiency makes you an achiever and achievement makes you even more confident.

And when you are confident, can happiness and riches be far behind? Make sure that you are never out of this magical spiral. Believe in yourself, get going; tell yourself that you have it in you. Because ultimately the one who wins is the one who thinks he can!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

The Key to Self-Esteem

Self-esteem, like happiness, is a state of mind. It can make you feel happy, cheerful and confident. It can also make you feel worthless, unwanted and weak. Self-esteem can best be compared to a powerful battery. When the battery is fully charged, the individual feels confident and raring to go; when the battery is run down the individual feels low and wants to hide.

Obviously, individuals with low self-esteem cannot be expected to do well in life. They will approach every issue with a lack of confidence even though they may be fully capable of doing a job. That is why self-belief is considered the bedrock of self-esteem. It gives an individual the extra confidence that makes all the difference between an achiever and a failure.

So how do you inculcate a sense of self-belief in yourself? You will be making a big mistake if you start seeing yourself as the most important man in your field. This cannot be called self-belief or self-esteem. Instead it is conceit, and as everyone knows conceit is a dangerous quality. It generates false confidence, which often becomes a source of woes.

What you need is healthy self-esteem. This means that you should look at yourself as an individual who is at par with his peer group, who has nothing to feel ashamed of, and who looks at all issues with a positive frame of mind. Healthy self-esteem also means that you are able to differentiate between humility and self-effacement, between arrogance and modesty, between complacency and hyperactivity.

However, to do so you must learn to accept yourself as any other individual who will have some strengths and some weaknesses, and who will have some good days and some bad days. You must learn to ride out the good with the bad. Most important, you must believe in the clichéd saying that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. It will give you the confidence and self-belief that every individual needs in his bad moments. This is what self-esteem is all about – a self-belief in oneself.

Those who sit and mope can never feel happy. The same applies to those who blame the fate for their ills. Their energies are consumed by negative emotions. These emotions are like a whirlpool. They suck you deeper and deeper till you loose all semblance of self-respect and self-confidence.

Don’t allow mistakes or failures to overwhelm you. Similarly, don’t allow guilt to eat away your happiness. Accept your mistakes. It will make you feel much better. You must always remember that you loose self-esteem when you try to run away from problems and challenges. Such behavior makes you weak. It also causes your self-esteem to dip. In contrast, your self-esteem soars when you overcome a difficult situation.

Another important thing about self-esteem is the need to look at it as a single entity. Many people derive great happiness from their accomplishments. Their self-esteem rises when they are in the company of people who acknowledge their success. However, the same self-esteem plunges when they are in a family group where they are not accepted with the same degree of warmth. They feel unhappy, and neglected, and avoid mixing with their family members. This is escapism. It will gnaw away an individual’s self-esteem till he becomes lonely and unhappy. It will also impact on his professional work at some point of time or the other.

To improve your self-esteem, you also need to be fair to yourself. Very often individuals are very harsh on themselves when things go wrong. They plunge into a state of depression, and allow guilt to consume them. It is quite possible that their decision may have brought misfortune upon a family or a company that trusted them. But over-reaction will not change things. All individuals must judge their actions fairly. Self-flagellation is the worst form of defeat. It weakens individuals, and destroys their self-esteem.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Think Positive About Your Self Confidence!

A person’s self confidence is their ability to believe in themselves. People with a high self confidence are optimistic, assertive, and eager individuals ready to take on the world and conquer the goals. On the other hand, people with a low self confidence find themselves often distant and despondent, constantly questioning themselves and often passive or submissive.

Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life. Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.

The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself. That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen. Instead of traditional angel on one should and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not. Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.

They key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking. Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd. One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people.

Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down. These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder. If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter.

Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back! Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words.

This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation. If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend. Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.

If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways. Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart. This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies.

Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level. Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation. If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due.

Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence. If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times. If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Self Esteem in the Workplace

By Byan

The job market can be a stressful and fierce place for individuals of all ages. Whether you are just beginning your first job or fixing to retire after years of diligent work, you will find maintaining your self esteem in the workplace is critical to your success in you specific career field.

Keeping your self esteem at a high level will allow you to best deal with bosses, clients, and coworkers in various environments while maintaining a cool, professional demeanor. This fantastic quality can separate you from the rest of the pack, propelling you to the front for promotions, special projects, and receiving employment.

The task of searching and finding a job that fits into your choice of career field is quite an undertaking. The advent of the World Wide Web allows individuals of all ages, career choices, and places in their employment history to search for job openings in all aspects of the job market. From medical work to teaching positions, you are sure to find a job opening that best fits your needs without leaving the comfort of your own home.

More traditional ways of finding employment includes your local newspaper’s classified advertisement section. Additionally, many individuals seek out headhunters or enroll with temp agencies that have a phenomenal success rate in finding jobs for qualified individuals.

Once you have found the job that best fits your needs, begin the application process. This may prove quite taxing of your self esteem, as you may potentially be turned down by one or more of your prospective jobs. You should not take any dismissals personally, as the business in question is looking at your strengths, experiences, and skills strictly on paper. If you are called into an interview, carefully preparing for the experience will allow you better success than going into an interview without any preparation at all.

Individuals who do well in interviews have a high sense of self esteem and know they are totally capable of completing any task at hand. The potential employer may find it necessary to conduct more than one interview in order to understand all aspects of your personality, work ethic, skills, and experiences that will positively affect your performance at their company.

If you are accepted for the position, your self esteem should be going through the roof! Take this time to positively reward yourself for all the hard work and effort you have put into the job search, application, and interview processes. When it comes time to enter your new place of work, be sure to bring you newly boosted self esteem along.

Maintain your level while meeting your fellow coworkers and your new boss or bosses. Know the chain of command and understand which individual you should seek in different situations. Understand how your place of employment works before you begin to implement or request changes. Only begin to make new rules or regulations after you have thoroughly reviewed the current status and situation of a variety of different things. Your self esteem is sure to take a blow if you hastily make changes for the sake of making changes. If you decide to make changes in your workplace, ask your coworkers for their opinions before any implementation should occur.

Finally, beware of office politics or any other things that can potentially tear away at your self esteem and even danger your position in the company. Maintain a high level of professionalism in all matters of your job, especially when dealing with your coworkers or bosses. When dealing with clients, treat each individual with the utmost respect and in the most professional terms. Your high self esteem is sure to give you a boost in the workplace.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Tips for Encouraging Self Confidence in Girls

Numerous studies show that girls' self-esteem and self-confidence tends to plummet after about age nine as girls enter puberty. Is there any way to promote and increase self esteem and confidence during the earlier years to help pave the way for this important transitional time? The good news is yes, there are things that can be done. Some of them you already know, but a few reminders can't hurt.

For one, limit television. Yes, we've all heard it before, and it's easier said than done, particularly when there are a number of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and advertising can have a negative affect on viewers. Beginning at very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle. While we can't blame the media for everything, we can acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our children's self esteem and confidence.

Children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have problems with body image later in life. Ongoing messages that things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings of low self worth if a child doesn't have the right things. As children age, the "things" can change into a perfect body, and not having the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.

Provide positive role models. As girls age, they become increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it "sideways" show girls that it's not okay to be angry, stand up for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings. Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence.

Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders and substance abuse. Unfortunately, many women never learned how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own sake, but for those of your children.

Encourage learning and education. Some studies show that girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. It's also important to encourage learning in math and science. While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas.

Encouragement in these learning areas cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology. Of course, this isn't to say that other areas of learning are less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.

Help young girls try new things and discover their talents. Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection. On the other hand, when girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.

Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and confidence.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Computer Skills Self Confidence

By byan
This phenomenal technology revolution we have found ourselves a part of is sweeping the world at an alarmingly fast rate. Quite suddenly, everyday tasks we have completed without the help of technology now require the latest and fastest technology to enable the task. This great advancement in all technical fields has made the most process in the field of computers.

Today’s computers are small and light enough to fit into the palm of your hand, whereas the behemoths a couple of decades ago were giant systems with monstrous proportions. Everything now seems to run off batteries and is so tiny we can fit it in our pocket. It is no surprise many individuals have seemed unable to cooperate with these advancements simply because they lack the skills necessary to successfully operate a computer or a software program. Instead of hiding from this daily advancement of technology, build your self confidence in a computer skills program.

Learning even basic computer skills will allow you to access and run operations and programs on a personal computer or Apple’s Mac. If you are completely unfamiliar with a computer, consider enrolling in an introductory course at your local college or community college. These institutions offer individuals the opportunity to learn vital facts about a computer and be able to make the necessary repairs to your system.

This class is to be taken with the extreme seriousness and should not be entered into lightly. If you are unable to attend a community college, be sure to check with your year’s prefects in order to retain a section of the transmission. These subjects can be based on a number of things ranging from setting up your own home office to learning the signs of a systems crash so that you can successfully back up your files.

If you do not find a community college is right you, consider contacting your local Parks and Recreation Department. Most park departments offer lessons that are excellent for computer beginners and the novice that has a general idea of how to get around the computer. Since the city, county, or town government sponsors these seminars, they are quite economical and offer specific breaks for area city, county, or town residents.

Usually, the only equipment you will need to complete the entrance into the world of the Internet is a computer and access to the World Wide Web. Individuals from all over the world can access the Internet and contact individuals hundreds of thousands of miles away. If you do not have a computer at your disposal, try using computers from places like your local library. You will be able to stay fresh with your computer self confidence while accessing the Internet for absolutely free.

The easiest way to gain self confidence when working with computers is to practice, practice, practice. Explore your computer and try to understand how the hard drive works in cooperation with all of the extra prices present. Do not worry about breaking your computer or executing one potentially hazardous program or file. You computer is a great deal more rugged than you may think, therefore it is fully capable of withstanding errors and problems that may occur while you are exploring.

Practice with programs like Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. You can quickly and easily complete projects of all expectations using this software. Once you have learned the computer, the operating system, and software, you can rely on your self confidence to carry you the rest of the way. Do not sit at home alone while watching another day pass by—arrange to begin your private or public lessons with any number of trained and talented personnel. Use your self confidence to maintain a sense of trust that you are doing what is necessary in order to completely learn necessary computer skills.

Check Your Confidence Levels

By Byan
Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully. A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on.

To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO

1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life.

The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

Here are some more questions you may answer.

1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible.

It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

Building Your Self-Confidence at Work

By Byan
Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?

First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.

Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).

Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem.

You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.

Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.

When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior.

In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.

It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house.

Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.

Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.

Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.